


All Thanks To Jared

by baked



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, M/M, Self-Discovery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-21
Updated: 2013-02-21
Packaged: 2017-11-30 00:47:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,346
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/693438
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/baked/pseuds/baked
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jensen confides in his roommate Jared about a problem he's having with his girlfriend and all thanks to Jared, Jensen finds out what he really wants.</p><p>A ficlet about self-discovery.</p>
            </blockquote>





	All Thanks To Jared

Caught up in his biology notes Jensen didn’t notice the bed sink a little next to him as Allie crawled up from where she’d been perched at the end of the bed. Warm lips pressed against Jensen’s cheek bringing him out of his thoughts. She kissed him again as her delicate hands cradled his face and pulled him closer to her where finally their lips met. 

“Mmmm,” Allie hummed softly, her hand dipping under the collar of Jensen’s shirt, “I think we should take a break from studying.”

“Yeah?” Jensen breathed as he continued to kiss her softly, rolling them gently so he was towered above her bracing himself on his arms. 

Allie’s lips were comforting against his and Jensen was content to just kiss her tired.

But Allie pulled back, gave him a wicked smirk as she dragged her hands up under his shirt along his sides. 

Jensen immediately jumped back at her touch, an embarrassed blush seeping onto his cheeks as he sat back on his haunches. 

A questioning look found its way onto Allie’s face as she sat up, “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Jensen said feeling embarrassed for jumping back like a scared cat, “Sorry, I just...” Jensen didn’t have an explanation for what happened, Jensen never had an explanation for why he was always the one to slow down or stop completely when things got heated between them. 

Allie pulled Jensen’s hands making him sit up at the head of the bed with her and he did, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and pulling her close. He pressed a kiss to her temple and chuckled, “Sorry.”

Allie shrugged, “It’s okay, it’s just a little weird. I mean, we’ve been together two years, Jensen. I don’t understand why you won’t just have sex with me already.”

“Whoa, whoa,” Jensen said pulling away and looking straight at Allie, “What makes you think that?”

Shrugging again, Allie picked at her sweater before answering, “It’s just, the furthest we’ve ever gone is making out and the second I try to go farther you always pull back. It’s like you don’t want me.”

Jensen’s chest tightened at the pout Allie made and guilt pooled in his stomach, he never wanted to hurt Allie. He wanted to give her everything, wanted to give her this, but his mind and his body wouldn’t cooperate. 

“I do want you,” Jensen said earnestly, “I just...I want our first time to be special...for you. I don’t want to do it while my roommate’s in the other room.”

A tantalizing smile bloomed on Allie’s face as she ran her eyes up and down Jensen’s body before leaning in to kiss him on the mouth, “I don’t care about that. I don’t care if your roommate is out there or a party or a Sunday or whatever other excuse you have,” Allie kissed him again, harder this time, “I just want to be with you, Jensen. That’s all I care about.”

They kissed again, Allie eagerly opening her mouth to Jensen but he gently but his hands on her shoulders and pushed away, “I do care about that. I really want it to be special...for us.”

Allie smiled a little at that and let out a little sigh, “Okay. That’s really sweet.”

Jensen breathed a tiny sigh of relief although he still wasn’t totally sure why he didn’t just sleep with her right there. The words he was saying weren’t intentional lies, he really did want it to be special, he felt Allie deserved that, but there was more to it. He wanted it to feel right and it just didn’t and Jensen didn’t have a clue why. 

He loved Allie, she was beautiful and smart, they had fun together and were really like-minded. She was everything he was supposed to want and everything that he felt like he did want but something always stopped him from doing anything more than kissing her. 

Allie was always patient, a knowing and kind smile on her face as she kissed him softly, running soothing circles over the top of his hand. 

“Walk me to my car?” Allie suggested as she hopped off his bed and started to gather her things.

Jensen deflated slightly, evident that he’d just disappointed his girlfriend for the hundredth time, “Yeah, sounds good.”

They made their way through the tiny apartment Jensen shared with a roommate Jared, who was sitting in the living room with the tv on, and out the front door. He pulled Allie into a hug, breathing in the flowery scent of her hair, then kissed her forehead. 

“I love you, Jensen,” Alllie said sweetly as she opened her car door to get in. 

Jensen returned the smile, “I love you too.”

And Jensen did but despite that he couldn’t help the sick feeling of guilt that never really left his stomach. 

He waved as she pulled out and drove away before he headed back inside. 

Jensen grabbed a soda from the fridge and plopped himself down beside his roommate on the couch, sinking into the comfort of the oversized cushions. 

“Strike out again?” Jared asked not turning his gaze away from the tv. 

Jensen snapped open his soda and drank down half, it burning his throat on the way down, “I really don’t want to talk about it.”

“Every time you guys are in there I’m expecting to start hearing that cheap ass bed creaking into life and then nada.”

Jensen scrunched up his nose, “You’re a freak if you actually listen in on what’s happening in my bedroom, man.”

His roommate laughed, turned to Jensen, and started waving his hands, “No man, not like that! I’m saying that would be my clue to get lost. Unless you need me to do that sooner, in which case we should totally come up with a signal so I know to get outta here for you.”

Jensen shook his head before downing the rest of his soda and letting out a loud, obnoxious belch. 

“Nice,” his roommate complimented, smiley widely, “that’s probably why she won’t sleep with you though.”

Jensen scoffed, “Yeah, not really the problem.”

He regretted it the moment he said it, he really wasn’t in the mood to explain anything to his roommate, who he barely even knew, and didn’t see how it would help anyway. 

“What’s the problem then?” Jared asked just as Jensen predicted he would. 

Jensen groaned, stretching his arms above his head, “I really don’t want to talk about it.”

His roommate shrugged noncommittally, “Whatever. Want some pizza? There’s a slice left.”

“You ate an entire pizza?” Jensen asked impressed at his appetite. 

“I’m a growing boy!” Jared exclaimed and Jensen rolled his eyes as he grabbed the final slice. 

The pizza, despite being room temperature, was the perfect balance of greasy cheese and spicy pepperoni. He chewed happily and took another bite before turning to his roommate just as he was licking sauce and grease from the tip of his thumb. 

For the first time that evening his dick stirred in his pants at the sight of his roommates lips pull around the end of his thumb. Jensen jumped up almost knocking the empty pizza box onto the ground and headed for his door. 

“What the hell, man?” Jared asked, surprised by the sudden movement but no irritation in his voice. 

“Sorry..I uh...I just remembered I have some more homework to do. Thanks for the pizza,” Jensen stammered as he quickly escaped into his room and closed the door behind him. He leaned back against the door and breathed in deep, pizza still clenched in his fist, as he tried to calm himself down. 

He felt twisted up inside and confused down to his bones, frustrated beyond belief with himself and not really sure what to do about any of it. Part of him wanted to call Allie, hear her comforting voice and ask her to come back over, turn this whole thing around and finally get it settled. But a bigger part of him knew that wasn’t going to happen, not tonight anyway. 

The following week didn’t prove to be any better in terms of what was going on in Jensen’s head. Allie was growing increasingly impatient and Jensen felt caged in, unable to perform the way he felt he should. She accused him again of not wanting to be with her and told him that it hurt her feelings. Feeling helpless with the situation he begged her to come over and kicked his roommate out of their apartment. 

“Yeah!” Jared had said as he gathered his things to head out, “Get some!”

Jensen rolled his eyes as he pushed him out the door before quickly cleaning the place up a bit. He made his bed, took out the trash, crammed all his clothes into his closet, changed his shirt three times, and then stole a beer from his roommate’s secret stash and downed the entire thing. Jensen swayed on his feet, nerves mixing with the sudden alcohol had him unsteady until a pleasant warmness filled his stomach. 

A few deep breaths later and Allie was knocking on his door. He gave her no time to ask what was going on before he pulled her into a deep kiss. He licked into her mouth as he held her close and felt her hands slide up his sides. 

They moved to the bed and sat down, Jensen’s nerves tripled as they laid down with each other, still kissing as their hands roamed over each other. The longer they kissed the more nervous Jensen got and before long it was evident to Allie that this was not going to happen. 

“This isn’t going to happen, is it?” Allie asked quietly as she pulled away and sat up on the edge of the bed, fixing her sweater. 

Jensen yelled at himself inwardly, angry for not being able to go through with it, “I’m so sorry.”

“Is it me?” Allie asked, eyes full of hurt and brows furrowed in worry, “Are you not attracted to me?”

“Allie, you’re perfect,” Jensen said as his stomach twisted painfully, it hurt so much that he was hurting Allie, “It’s me, there’s something wrong with me. I’m so sorry.”

Allie bit at her bottom lip and blinked back tears as she reached for Jensen’s hands, bringing them to her lap and stroking soothing circles over his skin like she’d done before, “It’s okay,” she whispered, barely able to get the words out. 

Jensen wrapped her in his arms and pressed kisses to her hair, “I don’t know what to do.”

Allie nodded, clinging tight to Jensen like he’d float away if she loosened her grip. 

A few minutes later, after they’d calmed down, Allie pulled away and looked Jensen in the eyes. Jensen felt like he could get lost in the deep blues he’d come to love so very much. 

“I think I should go,” Allie said and before Jensen could form a reason why she should stay, she was gone. 

Jensen laid back on his bed, wrinkled shirt but still buckled pants and all, shame and embarrassment burning his face. He hated himself. He hated that something was wrong with him and that he’d hurt Allie. 

He didn’t leave his room the rest of the night, even after he heard Jared return. He got up early the next morning to make sure he’d be out of the apartment before Jared was awake so he wouldn’t have to deal with any awkward encounters when Jared would sure enough congratulate him on finally getting laid. Even though that’s not at all what happened. 

A week later Jensen’s exhausted in every way and took refuge of a quiet living room and empty couch to sprawl out on to zone out in front of the tv. He was halfway through a Jackie Chan movie when Jared got home, eyeing him suspiciously. 

“Okay, dude,” Jared started as he pushed at Jensen’s legs to make room for Jared to sit, “you’ve been walking around with a dark cloud over your head for a week, what gives?”

Barely moving his legs to give Jared room to sit down, Jensen shrugged his shoulders and kept his eyes on the tv, “Nothing, just stressed with school, I guess. Big test.”

Jared laughed like he didn’t believe a word coming out of his roommate’s mouth, “Yeah, that big test you got an A on? I saw it on the coffee table yesterday. You may be good at biology but you suck ass at lying so just tell me what’s going on.”

“I think me and Allie broke up,” Jensen finally said as he pulled himself to a sitting position.

Jensen caught Jared watching him, unreadable expression on his face, “What?”

Jared shook his head, “You finally get laid and then she dumps you? Man, you really must suck in bed.”

“Go away,” Jensen groaned, kicking Jared in the thigh, “we didn’t even get that far, okay?”

“What happened?” Jared asked after a minute of silence between them, just the tv to be heard. 

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Well, maybe you should,” Jared suggested, “might make you feel better.”

“God, what are you? My shrink?” Jensen spat, words bitter on his tongue, he wasn’t really annoyed at Jared personally, he was just incredibly annoyed with the entire situation with Allie. . 

Jared shrugged, “What can I say? I’m a Psych major.”

Jensen rolled his eyes and turned his attention back on the tv turning over the situation in his head. Jared could be right and talking to him could make him feel better but Jensen barely knew the guy and he wouldn’t even know where to start. 

Before Jensen could think better of it he was sitting up and muting the tv. Jared immediately put his full attention on Jensen, his face a tiny bit surprised that Jensen was going to take him up on his offer to talk. 

“I don’t know where to start,” Jensen confessed, suddenly feeling very self-conscious about the whole thing. 

The corner of Jared’s lips curled into a tiny smile, “Start with why you and Allie broke up.”

Jensen took in a deep breath and ran a hand through his hair, “We didn’t technically break up, not yet anyway, but I don’t know, I think...I think there’s something wrong with me.”

“How so?”

“It’s personal,” Jensen started, cheeks growing hot, “like really personal.”

“Is it about having sex with her?” Jared asked as Jensen couldn’t believe he’d been so obvious that Jared could figure it out so quickly it made his stomach queasy, “Look man, I’m not here to judge you, I just want to help. You can talk to me.”

For some reason that settled Jensen’s stomach a little, eased his mind a bit, he really didn’t know Jared very well but somehow felt like he could trust him with something so personal. 

Jensen took in a deep breath before starting again, “I don’t know what the problem is, Allie and I have been together for almost two years and I’ve never been able to...you know...with her. It makes no sense. I love Allie, she’s beautiful, I want to make her happy but we start heading in that direction...I just freeze up....but it’s more than that....I don’t know...I don’t know how to explain it.”

“Have you been with anyone before Allie?” Jared asked, keeping his hazel eyes locked on Jensen’s that would normally make Jensen squirm but he found them somewhat comforting in that moment. 

“No,” Jensen finally answered. 

Jared thought for a moment before offering a tiny smile, “I don’t want to make you uncomfortable but...you can get it up, right? Like, in general?”

Jensen choked on a laugh, “Oh god, yes. I can definitely get it up, just not...you know...in the moment.”

Jensen’s cheeks were burning and he imagined that he looked pretty damn ridiculous and pathetic but if Jared thought so he didn’t show it on his face at all. 

“So, like when you watch porn,” Jared started but Jensen immediately let out a loud, embarrassing laugh, interrupting him.

“I don’t watch porn,” Jensen said, Jared’s eyes widening at the admission and Jensen suddenly felt like he couldn’t breathe, “What? I don’t.”

“Dude, everyone watches porn,” Jared replied. 

“Well I don’t.” Jensen exclaimed, clearly even more uncomfortable with the direction of the conversation.

Jared put up his hands in defensive, “Hey, okay, that’s cool, your imagination is good enough to jerk off to, I get it.”

All the color drained from Jensen’s face, “I don’t do that either.”

“What?” Jared asked in disbelief, “You’re shitting me now, right?”

Jensen shrugged, face nothing but honesty. 

“But you said you have no probably getting it up so what do you do when that happens?”

Jensen jumped up awkwardly from the couch and started heading for his room, wanting nothing more than for the conversation to end, “I just, you know, think of other things, until it goes away.”

“Jensen!” Jared said, mouth gaping open, “Come back, please. Don’t run away, we need to talk about this!”

Finally, Jensen was safely inside his bedroom, door closed behind him and he collapsed on his bed feeling completely ridiculous and embarrassed. He felt worse than he did before talking to Jared and he really wished the floor would open up and swallow him whole. He knew there was something wrong with him, he knew that he wasn’t normal, and now Jared had just cemented that idea in his head. 

“Jensen,” he heard Jared quietly call on the other side of his bedroom door, “Come on man, talk to me. I promise I’m not making fun of you, the initial shock has worn off, I really just want to help. I think I can help.”

Jensen buried his face deeper in his pillow and wished for Jared to disappear. 

But Jared didn’t disappear, “Jensen...you’re not weird or a freak or anything else you’re probably throwing around in your head. Let’s talk about this, man. I think I could help you figure out things between you and Allie....What you said kinda makes some other things make sense now....Just, please come back out and talk to me.”

Jensen didn’t say anything right away, just stayed silent with his head under a pillow but Jared’s words repeated in his head, that he wasn’t a freak, although that’s exactly how he felt. 

After awhile he assumed Jared had given up and gone away but quietly he called out again, “Jensen?”

Jensen let out a heavy sigh, “Door’s not locked.”

The doorknob twisted easily and Jared pushed through the door to Jensen’s bedroom. Jensen felt the bed dip next to him as Jared sat down but Jensen remained belly down with his head tucked nicely under one of his pillows. 

“Maybe things don’t work right with Allie because you’re too nervous about it,” Jared started to suggest, voice calm and even a little comforting, “It’s like your body shuts down completely because it’s what your body is used to doing when you have those feelings.”

What Jared had said actually made a bit of sense in Jensen’s head. In fact, logically it made perfect sense but there was still a tiny voice in his brain whispering that there was more to it than that. A voice he had grown to ignore his whole life. 

Jensen pulled the pillow off his head and slowly sat up, “That makes sense.”

“‘Course it does, I’m a genius,” Jared beamed and Jensen rolled his eyes. 

They were quiet again in comfortable silence before Jared spoke again, “Can I ask you something really personal?”

“You already know the most personal thing about me, so sure I guess,” Jensen shrugged, a faint smile ghosting his lips. 

“Why were you so eager to have sex with Allie when you don’t even...you know...have sex with yourself?” Jared asked awkwardly and neither could keep a straight face for very long. 

Both boys laughed breaking the awkward tension in the room. 

Jensen ran a hand down his face, “I’m nineteen, been with Allie for two years, she’s been pressuring me like crazy for awhile, I really just wanted to make her happy.”

“So, if Allie hadn’t been pressuring you, you’d have just kept going the way you were?” Jared asked trying to understand. 

Jensen hadn’t really ever thought about it but Jared posed an interesting question. How long would he have gone on without having sex with Allie if she’d never pressured him? He’d kept those sexual desires locked down tight and pushed aside for so long, the thought of opening that up was terrifying. 

“I guess I would have just kept doing what we were doing, I was happy with just that,” it was mostly the truth so Jensen stuck with the answer. 

“Can I ask another really personal question?” 

Jensen smiled shyly and nodded. 

“Why don’t you...jerk off?”

Jensen cheeks burned hot again at the topic and he felt like a child for it. 

He knew the real answer but it was something he didn’t want to think about, didn’t want to acknowledge it but for some reason there was something about Jared, his openness and willingness to help that made Jensen want to share it all with him. It was terrifying and exhilarating at the same time. 

“You’re gonna think I’m lame,” Jensen said not meeting Jared’s eyes. 

“Well, you are lame,” Jared teased as he elbowed Jensen in the side, “I’m not gonna think you’re lame. Trust me, I think you’re pretty fascinating, to be honest.”

“Fascinating the way a sideshow freak is fascinating,” Jensen quipped and Jared’s dimples bloomed on his face. 

Voice soft Jared replied sincerely, “I promise you, I won’t think you’re lame.”

“I don’t like the thoughts I start thinking when I do it,” Jensen confessed. 

Jared’s face fell in confusion, “What do you mean?”

“Like, you know how you brought up the imagination thing?” Jensen started as he waited for Jared to nod for him to continue, “Well, I do have a pretty good imagination but the problem is I start thinking about things...people...I shouldn’t be while...doing it...and it’s just weird, okay?”

Jared’s eyes narrowed on Jensen, “Like kids or animals or something?”

“What?” Jensen exclaimed, “God, no! That’s sick, I’m not a pervert!”

Jared’s face visibly relaxed, “Okay good, just making sure because that would be weird and I’m not far enough along in my degree to help with something like that.”

Silence fell between them again as Jared resituated himself on Jensen’s bed, leaning back against the headboard with one leg tucked under him and the other hanging off the side. Jensen still at the foot of the bed, elbows resting on his knees. 

“So, then what do you start thinking about?” Jared asked. 

Butterflies tickled Jensen’s insides, he felt like crawling under his covers again. 

“Oh come on, dude. You’ve made it this far, just tell me,” Jared laughed good-heartedly. 

Jensen took a breath, “It starts out about Allie, she really is beautiful...but then slowly my mind wanders to other people.”

“There’s nothing wrong with that. It’s like the one time when it’s okay to think about someone other than your girlfriend,” Jared smiled, trying to ease Jensen’s apprehension. 

“Guys,” Jensen blurted out and the admission made him feel sick to his stomach instantly, the words were out so fast he couldn’t do anything to bring them back. 

At first Jared’s face was blank but then a slow smile made it’s way across his entire face, “There’s definitely nothing wrong with that, Jensen.”

Jensen couldn’t help but notice the way Jared’s expression changed, a little softer, if not maybe hopeful and it twisted Jensen’s stomach.

“What?” Jensen asked when Jared let out a tiny chuckle, dimples even deeper than before. 

“Jensen, have you ever thought that maybe things don’t work with Allie, in that way, is because you might be gay?” 

“What? I’m not gay!” Jensen exploded as his entire body went hot, “Why would you even say that?”

“Whoa, Jensen, hey!” Jared said putting his hands up, “It’s okay if you are, there’s nothing wrong with it, lots of people are gay! I’m gay! The guy two doors down is gay!”

“What?” Jensen asked eyes wide.

“Yeah, that junior two doors down? Totally gay,” Jared started but Jensen cut him off.

“No, I don’t care about that guy...you’re gay?” Jensen asked, a thousand thoughts whipping through his head.

Jared’s face hardened slightly, “Yeah, is that going to be a problem?”

“What? No! No, not a problem,” Jensen said as his mind continued to race, “No, I was just...I didn’t think...I mean you don’t act...”

“Gay,” Jared finished for him, “I don’t walk around with rainbows shooting out of my ass and waving a rainbow flag?” 

“What? No...I mean, you don’t but I...” Jensen stammered and Jared’s face broke out into a wide grin again and Jensen could tell he was just joking with him. 

For the third time the room fell silent again, Jensen not knowing what to do or say, how to feel or what to think, his mind was going a thousand miles a minute, he felt constricted. 

“Hey,” Jared said quietly as he nudged Jensen’s thigh with his foot, “it’s cool if you’re gay, or not gay,” he emphasized when Jensen shot him a panicked look, “it’s also cool if you’re bisexual or pansexual or asexual or demisexual or whatever kind of sexual you want to be. College is a good place to experiment and figure it all out. Don’t stress because you don’t fit into the same box you’ve been living in your whole life anymore.”

“People are attracted to pans?” Jensen asked eyes wide and Jared couldn’t help but laugh at that. 

“Not that I’m aware of, no,” Jared laughed again and it was infectious, soon Jensen was laughing too. 

“Thanks,” Jensen said after they’d calmed down, “for talking to me and not making me feel like a total loser.”

Jared smiled so wide it reached his eyes, “Anytime, man.”

He got up off the bed and headed for the door, “I’m serious about the experimentation man, don’t be afraid to let your mind wander...hell, watch some porn! Figure out what you really want, there’s no shame in that.”

Jensen’s whole face went hot at that but he pushed back his embarrassment, “Thanks.”

And Jensen really meant it. 

*

After the conversation about Jensen’s little problem, the two roommates fell into a very comfortable dynamic. They were no longer just roommates but friends and started hanging out with each other more and more. Instead of studying in his room by himself Jensen would venture out to the living room and sprawl out on the floor with his books while Jared occupied the couch. Jared invited Jensen to hang out with him and some of his buddies throughout the week or on weekends they weren’t working. It was as if helping Jensen out was the bonding experience they needed to break down past the roommate barrier and enter friends territory. 

After work Jensen came home to find Jared lounging on the couch, jeans low on his hips and tshirt hiked up an inch, showcasing a sliver of tanned skin that Jensen’s eyes were immediately drawn to. Jensen diverted his eyes when Jared over to him and gave Jensen a welcoming nod and Jensen swallowed down the lump in his throat. Ever since Jared had talked to him those few weeks ago about his problem with Allie he’d been more and more aware of everything involving Jared. He loved every minute they hung out together and he was more than grateful to have made a friend but it became increasingly harder to not let his mind wander further. 

Jensen tried to convince himself he didn’t want those thoughts in his head or that he didn’t like that his body was so much more responsive to those thoughts than anything before. He missed Allie. But deep down he knew that he really just missed the idea of Allie, having someone to connect with and hang out with, someone to count on when things got stressful, to have fun with. He ignored the fact that he was starting to have that with Jared. 

Jensen dropped his things off in his room before heading out to sit on the couch with Jared. Jared moved his feet to the coffee table to give Jensen room to sit down and asked him how work was. They talked about how their days were before falling into a comfortable silence. 

“Haven’t seen Allie around lately, you guys officially break up?” Jared asked during a commercial break.

Jensen shrugged, “You already know what the problem was.”

“So you took my advice and did some experimenting?” Jared asked casually, slinging his arm across the back of the couch, opening himself to Jensen..

“Nope,” Jensen answered as he let out a heavy sigh and pressed back into the cushions, closing his eyes. 

It was quiet again and Jensen was sure Jared was going to drop it but then Jensen felt the couch move as Jared sat closer, “Why not?”

Jensen blinked one eye open to see Jared looking at him, an expression Jensen couldn’t figure out on his face, “It’s weird.”

It was weird, Jensen felt completely uncomfortable with his own body like he didn’t even know what to do with it, he’d been suppressing those feelings for so long. But he’d be lying if he said he didn’t want the release because he did, he really did. Every morning when he woke up painfully hard after dreaming about his roommate licking grease off his fingers and what other things he could do with his mouth but Jensen couldn’t bring himself to do anything about it. He still felt like a giant freak. uncomfortable and scared in his own skin. 

But here and now with Jared’s heated body next to his, his body ached to be touched, dick filling in his jeans just from the way Jared was looking at him. Jensen shifted uncomfortably attempting to hide the obvious growing bulge in his pants. 

“We could talk some more,” Jared offered continuing the conversation but his voice obviously rougher than before. 

Jensen shook his head, not trusting his voice to speak. 

Jared moved even closer, “I could help you,” he hushed. 

He wanted Jared to do anything. Anything he wanted to do, Jensen wanted too. His heart began to race and he couldn’t take his eyes off Jared. 

Jared licked his lips, “Do you want my help?”

Jensen nodded.

“Can I touch you?”

Jensen nodded again. 

“I couldn’t get it out of my head,” Jared confessed as he pressed a hand to Jensen’s chest then slowly began to lower down to his stomach, then hip, until he was resting on Jensen’s thigh, “what you told me that day, how you’ve never gotten off before and,” Jared let out a moan as he let his head fall to Jensen’s shoulder. 

Jensen’s whole body was wound up tight, frozen in place, and silently begging Jared to keep going. His heart thundered in his chest and he was sure that it was loud enough even Jared could hear. 

“I want to help you more than anything, Jensen,” Jared started again as he stroked Jensen’s thigh, “I want to make you feel good but I also want you to be comfortable so if you want me to stop, I’ll stop.”

Jared lifted his head from Jensen’s shoulder and looked him dead in the eyes, heat and scent of arousal radiating off of him, “Do you want me to stop?”

“No,” Jensen barely managed to breathe out as he involuntarily twitched under Jared’s touch. 

“I want you to know how good this can feel,” Jared said as he lowered his forehead to Jensen’s shoulder again and slowly inched his way up Jensen’s thigh to the crotch of his pants where a hard line of Jensen’s dick was evident. 

Jensen’s hips bucked the instant Jared dragged his fingers along the bulge and Jensen let out an embarrassing whine. Jensen pressed his head back against the cushions, squeezing his eyes shut tight, as he bit his lip trying not to make any more noise. 

“I’ve gotcha,” Jared assured as he palmed Jensen’s dick, “Just listen to your body and what it wants, don’t hold back.”

Even the barest touch from Jared sent pleasure coursing through Jensen’s body, every nerve ignited and pulsed as Jared continued to run his palm along Jensen’s dick over his jeans. With every whispered encouragement from Jared, Jensen was closer and closer to tipping over the edge as his orgasm pooled in his belly. Then suddenly he was coming, shooting hot and sticky in his boxers as Jared breathed, “So good” and “So hot” in his ear, the hairs on his neck stood on end. 

Jensen felt knocked out, lungs gasping for air as if he’d been holding his breath the entire time, he kept his eyes closed as his body recovered from the intense pleasure that ripped through his entire body. 

Jared ran his hand up Jensen’s body to his chin where he pulled him so that they were looking at each other, Jared opened his mouth to speak but before he could get any words out Jensen latched onto his mouth. 

Jared stumbled backwards on the couch from the momentum and Jensen followed until they were pressed against each other, pulling at each other’s mouths. Jared’s lips were warm and his tongue was soft as he opened up for Jensen, inviting him in to taste. They kissed and bit at each other’s lips, making them red and swollen with desire until they were panting as their heads swam with pleasure. Jensen let his body take over and rocked his hips against Jared’s, moaning when he felt Jared hard in his jeans. He didn’t stop, his own dick quickly filling again and he couldn’t get over how amazing it felt to grind against his roommate. 

The minute Jensen started to quicken his pace, Jared pulled away. 

“Jensen,” Jared breathed as he pulled away but not for very long with Jensen’s lips on his again, “Jensen, wait,” he tried again between kisses, “Jensen, stop for a second.”

The last thing Jensen wanted to do was stop but reluctantly he slowed down and pulled away. 

“I don’t want you to do anything you might regret,” Jared confessed as he ran a finger down Jensen’s face. 

Jensen bent low and kissed Jared again before answering, “Never going to regret this.”

Their lips collided again in a mouth-crushing kiss, tongues tangled together as Jensen picked up the pace of his rocking hips once again. He lasted a little bit longer this time before he was tipping over the edge for the second time that night and coming hard in his pants. Jared was close behind him as he grabbed at Jensen’s back. 

Jensen collapsed from the exertion and buried his face in Jared’s shirt. 

The realization of what just happened quickly made its way to his brain as the blood did too and Jensen’s cheek grew hot with embarrassment. He was not expecting to come home from work and do that with his roommate. And there he laid with a mess in his pants, faced down on Jared, Jensen wanted to die. A panic rose in his chest as he tried to figure out the best way to make all of it go away when he felt a comforting hand on his back.

“Stop freaking out,” Jared whispered, “Hey, look at me.”

Jensen shook his head against Jared’s chest and Jared ran soothing fingers through his cropped hair. 

“Fine,” Jared said with amusement in his voice as he shifted slightly under Jensen’s weight and wrapped his arms tightly around Jensen’s back, “I don’t mind staying like this for the rest of the night.”

Jensen didn’t know what to do or say, he felt loose, like a wet noodle, like all of the tension he’d been carrying around in his body was gone but he was also freaked out a little about what just happened. His mind was going a thousand miles a minute but it all stopped the second he felt Jared’s lips press against his hair. 

It was incredibly comforting and unexpected, he had no reason why such a small gesture felt so intimate but it calmed him immediately.

Jensen suddenly felt full of warmth, his skin buzzed with excitement and he realized he actually felt pretty amazing. 

“You okay?” Jared asked a few minutes later.

Jensen nodded.

“Then will you look at me?”

Jensen raised his head slowly until he was looking into Jared’s hazel eyes and Jared smiled. 

“I’m gonna go take a shower,” Jensen blurted before he could rethink it. 

Jared let out an amused chuckled, “Probably a good idea.”

Jensen sat up, untangling himself from Jared and felt his cheeks go hot again as he felt his boxers cling to him inside his pants.

“I really hope I get to see how far that blush goes someday,” Jared drawled as he pressed a kiss to the side of Jensen’s mouth. 

Jensen burned all over and couldn't bring himself to look at Jared after that remark or hide the giant grin on his face. 

Jensen excused himself and finally found refuge in his room where he peeled off his jeans and threw his messy boxers in the corner before pulling off his shirt and turning on the shower. 

He glanced down at his groan, dick red and soft against his thigh, come slicking his pubic hair, and Jensen had never felt so amazing in his life all thanks to Jared. 

Hope burned in his chest at the thought that this could very well turn into the best thing of his life.

All thanks to Jared.

**Author's Note:**

> The couch scene wouldn't leave my head when I was trying to write a totally different fic of mine so I decided to just write it to get out of my head. Thus this ficlet was born.


End file.
